Forward: Tell Me This
by KayDeeBlu
Summary: *Movie Verse 07 AU* - A fun offshoot of the Thundercracker fic, Ronin. This centers around an email Bumblebee sends to everyone at the Autobot base and what they all write in return. Humor abounds!
1. yellowbadaft

**Important!!! Please Read!!!**

_**The following fic is a small **__**offshoot of my current fic "Ronin"**__** with some references being made to my first TF fic, "The Departed". **_

_**If you're confused about certain elements within this one, you might want to skim/read through them to get the full backstory.**_

_**For everyone who's hung with me from those two, ya'll all know where this is comin' from!!!**_

**Storyline Premise**

_**A fun out take centering around an email Bumblebee sends around the Autobot base and the replies each one of them gives back.**_

**yellowbadaft at post dot net**

_Hey, this is pretty interesting! I think I'll send this to everyone here…they might get a kick out of it…well maybe not TC, but hey…it can't hurt! _The yellow scout thought to himself, looking at the email he had opened on accident.

While he was well aware of the potential dangers involved in opening any kind of spam and junk mail that seemed to endlessly float through his "Bulk Mail Folder", the subject of the email, "Tell Me This", had managed to perk his naturally programmed curious nature.

While the questions were geared toward humans, the Autobot wasn't discouraged in the slightest.

_I'll just make up a similar questionnaire using this one as a guide and then send it out from there! _The yellow scout told himself.

Happy with his decision, the scout went to work on the email modifications, and within no time it seemed, from his finger tips typing madly away, he had finished his project.

Sitting back somewhat in the chair at his desk, he looked his answers over :

**Does your name hold any significance in it's meaning?**

_I never really thought about that one. From what I could find out about the earth bumblebee, they're small but in certain instances, they can be deadly. Personally, I don't enjoy having to fight…who does? But if there's no other choice and it can't be avoided, then I will do what I have too. _

**Three words that best describes your self?**

_Cheerful, tough, fearless_

**If you were another mech would you be friends with you?**

_Sure! I think I make a pretty good friend!_

**When was the last time your optics flooded?**

_About a stellar cycle ago…when Jazz was almost taken offline for good. _

**Blowing things up or creating things to blow something up?**

_Blowing things up. It's easier. _

**Which Decepticon do you hate more? Starscream or Blackout?**

_Screamer, hands down. LOL_

**Favorite earth color?**

_Well I am partial to yellow…_

_;-)_

**If you had a choice for another earth alt mode what would it be?**

_You know, I've wondered this too…and I would have to say a boat…a really fast speed boat…that might be kind of cool! I've always wanted to glide over water and not worry about it shorting every circuit out (Hey, Ratchet, what do you think? Think you could modify me?)._

**Earth or Cybertron?**

_Could I split my time between the two?_

**What are you reading right now?**

_I do check out Marvel dot com every now and then to see what Professor X and Wolverine are up too…love the fights those X-Men get into!_

**Drinking energon until your optics are seeing shooting stars or 'connecting' until your optics stay rolled to the back of your head?**

_Holy Primus! Wow! Energon drinking is good. Connecting would be better. I can't decide. Can I have both at the same time? Is that too greedy?_

**Do you like the mech who sent this to you?**

_Well, I got this questionnaire through an email made for humans. I just modified it to fit Cybertronians. But I do like myself, if that counts!_

**Favorite personal saying/quote?**

"_Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee."_

**Mech least likely to respond?**

_Definitely TC._

**Whom do you want to reply the most?**

_Everyone!_

Satisfied with his replies, and excited to read how everyone was going to respond back, the yellow scout made sure all his comrade's email addresses were in the box and then hastily pressed the "send" button at the top of the screen.


	2. 1 Kewl Bot

**Important!!! Please Read!!!**

_**The following is a fun **__**offshoot of my current fic "Ronin"**__** with some references being made to my first TF fic, "The Departed". **_

_**If you're confused about certain elements within this one, you might want to skim/read through them to get the full backstory.**_

_**JessyJazz – This is for you!!! Something sound familiar? LOL**_

_**1 Kewl Bot at post dot net**_

_It jus' don't get any better than this!_ The silver Autobot thought to himself as he moved his body to the beat of the groovin' tune he had playing on his laptop in his quarters.

_Man, those humans sure know what's up! Makin' Napster and Lymewire! It's like they did it jus' for me! Gotta luv em'…_

He had never been a shy type of Bot. Far, far from it. And from being on earth before, the second in command had been sure he had found the ultimate sidekick in bringing his outgoing personality out even more.

With the huge variety of sounds the humans strung together to form melodious tunes that his auditory circuits never got tired of hearing, the silver Autobot had thought he had died and gone to the matrix. While Cybertron had always been no stranger to various forms of art to compensate every mech's different tastes, singing and dancing weren't one of them.

Standing in front of his laptop, getting ready to turn the already blaring volume up on the speakers sitting on the side, the Autobot stopped as he saw the little envelope icon toward the right bottom of his screen, indicating he had an email in his "In Box".

Sitting down at his desk, turning the music down somewhat, he read through the email, chuckling a huge laugh as he did.

_Leave it to Bee to do somethin' like this! That kid cracks the fark up out of me! Lemme shoot off a few words here...gotta have some humor round' this place sometime!_

**Does your name hold any significance in it's meaning?**

_Yep, sure does…means 'style', hip, kewl…not to be soundin' all about myself, but hey, I'm down with all that!_

**Three words that best describes your self?**

_Easy going, sociable, calm (unless you really push me, then I'll get up all in your faceplate, ain't that right TC?)_

**If you were another mech would you be friends with you?**

_Aw hell ya! _

_shakes hands with self _

_How ya doin'? _

**When was the last time your optics flooded?**

_I'll admit…it's been awhile…gotta think bout' that one…lemme get back to ya_

**Blowing things up or creating things to blow something up?**

_Creating…fo' sure! It's always kewl to be able to test out your new creations on some unsuspectin' Cons (not you, TC)…to make sure it works right…I mean, we can't be testin' it out on ourselves, right? _

_;-)_

**Which Decepticon do you hate more? Starscream or Blackout?**

_Screamer all the way!!! Man, if I had to deal with that crazy, screechy son of a farked up femme bot, I would've cut his fluid intake hose a long time ago during his recharge cycle and then we wouldn't be answerin' this question! (TC, how'd you put up with that slag?)_

**Favorite earth color?**

_Ya gonna make me choose? Alright…royal blue, magenta, lime green (I like variety), black (hey, it's simple!), silver (of course!), and last but not least, the color we all wear, RED!_

**If you had a choice for another earth alt mode what would it be?**

_Primus! Another alt mode, huh? Does being human for a day count? (Hey Ratchet, what cha' think bout' that one, bro?)_

**Earth or Cybertron?**

_Bee you tryin' to fry my logic circuits by asking all these in depth_ _questions? All this deep thinkin' this late ain't good! _

_Earth or Cybertron? That's like askin' who's better, B.B. King or Aretha? Bruce or Jet? Ripping one wing off Screamer or both? There's no comparison!_

**What are you reading right now?**

_I don't read too much…it's kewl and all, but it just ain't for me…I was listenin' to T-Pain's "Bartender" though not too long ago. Hey, who cares where the mental stimulation comes from, right? It's all good!_

**Drinking energon until your optics are seeing shooting stars or 'connecting' until your optics stay rolled to the back of your head?**

_Now you've done did it! Ain't nuthin' better than connectin' with a femme who's diggin' on you like you're all that and a barrel of new hydraulic fluid! Damn those were the days!!! _

_Makes me think of what I said to one of em' one time…_

"_Oooh girlie I've gotta slick aft alt mode that'll bring a smile,_

_and a dope bumpin' way if ya wanna stay for awhile,_

_So come over here and lemme do ya right,_

_Cuz this thing I've got could take all night!"_

_I think her name started with a 'J'. I do remember what she looked like…cute lil' thang…I think I had a permanent smile on me that night!_

_So to put it simply, connectin' by far!!!!_

**Do you like the mech who sent this to you?**

_Sure do! He's the kewlest yellow scout to have ever come online…fearless, always with a good head on him…just a neat Bot all the way around!_

**Favorite personal saying/quote?**

_Oh holy Primus! I know we don't have all solar cycle, so lemme just list a few:_

"_Do it with style or don't do it at all!"_

"_Boogie."_

"_Yes, it's true…Starscream has been slagged to pieces all over the galaxy and we are forever ridden of that sorry scrap heap! Let's party on down with our bad selves!" (One can hope right?)_

"_Stay strong and live well…for tomorrow could be your last."_

"_It's what I do darlin'…it's what I do." (from a human t.v. show called 'Firefly', found it by accident one day)_

"_Baby take a ride in my coupe…ya make me wanna shoop." (Hey, ya never know! There might be one or two femmes left back on Cybertron I can say that too!)_

"_Peace out."_

**Mech least likely to respond?**

:_TC…no doubt bout' that one!_

**Whom do you want to reply the most?**

_TC...but I know him…he won't…_

Pressing the "Send" button, the silver Autobot gave off another amused laugh.

_Wonder what everyone else is gonna say!_ He chuckled to himself silently.

Turning the music way back up, the second in command went back to his groovin'.


	3. Optimus Prime 1

**Important!!! Please Read!!!**

_**The following is a fun **__**offshoot of my current fic "Ronin"**__** with some references being made to my first TF fic, "The Departed". **_

_**If you're confused about certain elements within this one, you might want to skim/read through them to get the full backstory.**_

**Optimus Prime 1 at post dot net**

Prowl's report was running uncharacteristically late. Ever since the military strategist's transmission awhile back telling how he suspected Shockwave was planning something, the Autobot commander was always on keen alert for whatever news lay inside all incoming messages he received daily.

And as the Autobot leader sat, pondering the oracle prophecy he had experienced some time ago, telling notions of far away promised peace…peace that, in his innermost private thoughts, he sometimes wondered was drifting farther and farther away from their grasp, a sudden beeping noise came through his lap top, signaling an email message had been sent to him.

Seeing the address it was from, _yellowbadaft,_ the Autobot leader opened the message, curious as to why the yellow scout had sent something so late, wondering if he had come across something of importance that couldn't wait until morning.

Reading the title "Forward: Tell Me This", the Autobot commander let out a deep chuckle. Sometimes, it seemed, he was so immersed with the seriousness that came with the job territory, he often forgot to take much needed time out for a breather every now and then.

_Since Prowl's transmission is already running a little late, I think I will go ahead and reply to this. I can use the little break…I don't see the harm in that._

**Does your name hold any significance in it's meaning?**

_Yes it does, as all of our names are representative of some form of our personal traits. Optimus is a variation on being Optimistic, never losing hope or the belief that all will end up on a positive path. Prime simply means, leading._

**Three words that best describes your self?**

_I apologize. I'll have to let this one go. I've never been comfortable describing myself._

**If you were another mech would you be friends with you?**

_Yes._

**When was the last time your optics flooded?**

_It has been quite some time but I did let it come to me freely when we thought Jazz had been taken offline._

**Blowing things up or creating things to blow something up?**

_Both have their strategic advantage points. Sometimes, one will call for one over the other. It just depends on the assessment of the situation involved. No two battles are ever the same._

**Which Decepticon do you hate more? Starscream or Blackout?**

_I don't harbor 'hate' toward them or any other Decepticon. They are only doing what they were created to do just as we are doing what we have been created for. It is only favorable that we can achieve some amount of balance between the two different factions._

**Favorite earth color?**

_I would have to say I do very much favor darker tones, although some lighter ones such as greens are interesting as well. _

**If you had a choice for another earth alt mode what would it be?**

_Although humans have invented some highly impressive technology and vehicle modes, I am very satisfied with the alt mode I have been given. It has served well._

**Earth or Cybertron?**

_They both have much that is wonderful to them. Choosing one over the other is unreachable for me. _

**What are you reading right now?**

_Currently? A human written piece titled "The Art of War". It is most fascinating._

**Drinking energon until your optics are seeing shooting stars or 'connecting' until your optics stay rolled to the back of your head?**

_Both experiences bring pleasurable feelings. However, there are not too many femmes left on Cybertron…unfortunately. They were strong and graceful. It is too bad._

**Do you like the mech who sent this to you?**

_Yes, I do. He is one of the most dedicated soldiers I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. _

**Favorite personal saying/quote?**

"_Freedom is the right to all sentient beings."_

**Mech least likely to respond?**

_By reasonable deduction, I would have to suggest Thundercracker._

**Whom do you want to reply the most?**

_I would be interested in reading everyone's replies to see the variance in them._

Making sure all of his fellow comrade's email addresses were in the box above, the Autobot leader pressed "Send" and then went back to patiently waiting on the update from Cybertron.

**Author's End Note:**

**_Stay tuned!!!_**

**_Ironhide and Ratchet are up next. And then it'll be Bluestreak with Thundercracker being last._**

****


	4. trigger happy07

**Important: Please Read!**

**_The following fic is a small __offshoot of my current fic "Ronin"__ with some references being made to my first TF fic, "The Departed". _**

_**If you're confused about certain elements within this one, you might want to skim/read through them to get the full backstory.**_

**trigger happy07at post dot net**

_How Bee managed to jam an ion plasma gun is beyond my logic circuits! _The black mech grumbled to himself.

Grabbing an ion calibration diagnostic tool that sat in front of him on his desk, the weapons specialist starting running a few calcalutions through it, waiting for the scan results.

With being next door to Optimus, the black Autobot knew that after a trying, hard day, peace and quiet awaited him within the privacy of his quarters. And after dealing with Starscream and his worthless hooligans on an unpredictable basis, peace and quiet were sometimes the _only_ things that kept the massive black Bot sane.

About ready to start putting the results of the scan into the starting chip on the side of the weapon, a sudden _beeping_ came through the laptop, breaking the silence throughout.

Immediately, the weapons specialist pulled up the email message he had been sent, figuring it had to be something urgent to be sent this late. But as he read through the text, seeing the question/answer type format, the black mech rolled his optics somewhat.

_I swear that kid makes me wonder about him some days! _He thought, but as he was getting ready to delete the message altogether, he stopped, sighing an exasperated sigh at himself. _Oh for the love of Primus! I might as well humor him..._

**Does your name hold any significance in it's meaning?**

_Yeah…basically it means I can take a rocket launcher to the chest and still have enough energy rushing through me to get up and bust open a steel can of whoop aft on any Con' who gets in my way (You readin' this TC?)._

**Three words that best describes your self?**

_Big_

_Bad_

_Black_

**If you were another mech would you be friends with you?**

_That would depend…on whether or not I was in the mood...and no pity for you if you caught me on the day I wasn't…_

**When was the last time your optics flooded?**

_I wasn't happy over Jazz almost biting the dust…(Yeah, Jazz…it was like that…for all of us, really…now see what you've done, Bee? Making my emotional circuits start to twitch! I hope you're slaggin' happy! Don't expect me to ever cover for you again when Blue and you wanna hold another drag race out back! You're on your own, kid!)_

**Blowing things up or creating things to blow something up?**

_Now you're talking my kind of talk! Both are beautiful and fill me with immense pleasure, especially if it takes out as many Cons as possible (You readin' this TC?) A Bot's existence doesn't get much better than that! _

**Which Decepticon do you hate more? Starscream or Blackout?**

_I hate em' all equally. They aren't getting preferential treatment from me. Nuff' said. (Yeah, TC, I said all of them…although…I will admit, you aren't on the same insane level as Starscream…you at least have some shred of a logic circuit left…there, I said it, alright? Just don't go thinkin' we're gonna be pickin' out new throttle clusters together…matter of fact, there'd better NEVER be any thought about ANY of my systems in your logic circuits, EVER…)_

**Favorite earth color?**

_The only color that's right: RED_

**If you had a choice for another earth alt mode what would it be?**

_What else would I be…a farkin' piece of slag Seeker? _

**Earth or Cybertron?**

_Cybertron…before the war…the tattered remains that exist now don't do the planet any justice in the slightest._

**What are you reading right now?**

_1,000 Ways to Disassemble a Decepticon Painfully_

**Drinking energon until your optics are seeing shooting stars or 'connecting' until your optics stay rolled to the back of your head?**

_Femmes are nuthin' but trouble…they'll get you every time…ain't worth it…not that I know from experience or anything…and one slaggin' peep from ANY of you about the one who nearly stripped me down to my bare circuitry and I will personally give ALL of you new reconfigs you WILL not enjoy! She lied to me! I've already told all of you that!!! (And don't think you're sly Bee and try to "work" this topic into a convo later on…I have very big, ugly toys that will do unsightly things to your exterior, SO DON'T EVEN TRY IT!!!!)_

**Do you like the mech who sent this to you?**

_Kid, do you have a self esteem problem? I'm replying to this senseless garbage, what do you think?_

**Favorite personal saying/quote?**

"_Make my slaggin' day."_

"_Feelin' lucky, punk?"_

"_Wow Ironhide, you just disintegrated Starscream into a pile of ash! Neat! Could you do it to the rest of them? Pretty please?" (Or at least…that's my ultimate wish to hear)_

"_Being blunt is simply giving the truth that others don't want to hear." _

"_Big guns. Big toys. Big fun."_

**Mech least likely to respond?**

_Not that I give a slag, but my guess would be TC. _

**Whom do you want to reply the most?**

_Given how he's always so tied up with a million other things and never gives himself any breathing room, I'm going to say Optimus._

_C'mon Prime! Live a little! _

Grumbling under his breath about yellow scouts who had to much time on their digits, the weapons specialist grudginlgy pressed the "Send" button and then went happily back to what he had been previously working on.


	5. Mr Fix It34

**Important: Please Read!**

**_The following fic is a small __offshoot of my current fic "Ronin"__ with some references being made to my first TF fic, "The Departed". _**

_**If you're confused about certain elements within this one, you might want to skim/read through them to get the full backstory.**_

**Mr Fix It 34 at post dot net**

_Any more of this and I think my auditory circuits are going to be slagged to bits!_ The medic thought to himself.

He really didn't think much of it when he took the quarters next to Jazz. After all, how much noise could one silver Autobot make? When they had been on the Ark, the medic had been clear on the other side of the ship from Jazz so he never had to deal with it before.

But after settling in at their new base of operations this time and finding out the second in command had developed a deepening love affair with the human music downloading sites, the medic knew his peaceful recharge nights were going to be far and few in between.

_Yes, how foolish of me to think otherwise...after all, Jazz is a human trapped in a mech's body...why would I have thought any amount of quietness would somehow be found?_

Sighing knowingly to himself, the medic figured he would just have to endure the pumping music vibrating through the walls unless it got to be really, really bad. Everyone knew Jazz was definitely a one of a kind type of Bot' and trying to attempt to change that aspect was like expecting Starscream to hop over for a happy round of energon. It just wasn't going to happen.

Barely hearing the slight _beeping_ noise that came from his laptop then, the medic sat down, curious to see what was being sent to him so late.

Reading through the email Bumblebee had sent, his armor vibrating slightly from the noise, the mech chuckled lightly to himself.

_This is definitely Bee! Well, since he took the time to write it and send it out, I might as well reply..._

**Does your name hold any significance in it's meaning?**

_I believe so. A ratchet is a main tool for repairing. I would have to say it suits me quite well. I have no complaints. _

**Three words that best describes your self?**

_Handy_

_Calm (here on earth without the twins, at least…Primus they could make the most subdued Bot' want to nail their afts to a wall!) _

_Levelheaded (Before you both say anything to me, Bee and Jazz, yes I do remember the time I chased Hound down the corridor with a hacksaw, to which he rightfully deserved!)_

**If you were another mech would you be friends with you?**

_Probably, although I do have a tendency to have a dry off handed way about me...chalk it up to having been through one too many of Sunny and Side's non pratical jokes. _

**When was the last time your optics flooded?**

_I'm the Chief Medic…and right now, here on earth, I am the only Cybertronian medic. I don't have the luxury of letting my optics flood. If I did that, I wouldn't be able to do my job and help my friends when they need me most._

_But with that being said, there were several times when I was repairing Jazz that I thought it was going to come out. Primus, I had to beat that one away with a metal wrench!_

**Blowing things up or creating things to blow something up?**

_If a situation can be resolved through peaceful means, then that should always be the ideal way to go, but since Cons don't give us that choice, I would have to say creating. Always need to keep them guessing._

**Which Decepticon do you hate more? Starscream or Blackout?**

_We have to choose?_

**Favorite earth color?**

_Never thought about it much. There was this one derivative blue hue I liked, though. Turquoise was it? (Jazz, do you recall a color called that?)_

**If you had a choice for another earth alt mode what would it be?**

_I am perfectly happy with what I've been reconfigured as. Complaining is never a redeeming quality. (Don't even type it, Jazz…don't even type you want to be human for a day! Because the answer is NO!)_

**Earth or Cybertron?**

_Cybertron…although it was a much brighter and better place before the war._

**What are you reading right now?**

_1,000 Ways to Reassemble a Decepticon Quickly (Are you reading this TC?)_

**Drinking energon until your optics are seeing shooting stars or 'connecting' until your optics stay rolled to the back of your head?**

_I don't disclose such personal information like that. You're imagination will have to find the answer. (Get it out of your logic circuits right now, Bee. I can see it already brewing up there and I swear to Primus if you come ask me about it later, you will put a major damper on my nerve circuits!). _

_Although...asking Jazz and Hide' might bring forth some amusement...let's just say they've had their fair share of connecting "fun"._

_I do enjoy a good high grade energon every now and then, though. Helps loosen the hinges!_

**Do you like the mech who sent this to you?**

_Yes, I would have to say I'm quite fond of him. He's an exceptional fighter on the field and his spark is always in the right place (Except when he's gossiping...if ever you feel you've lost your way and need someone to tell you the scoop on every little thing go directly to him, do not pass go, do not collect $200). _

**Favorite personal saying/quote?**

"_You break it, I'll fix it!"_

"_Will work for tools."_

"_Subdued sarcasm is the best weapon." _

"_Knowledge is power. Tolerance is bliss. Learning and respect are the keys to universal attainment, understanding, and unity." (I know it's been a long time for that one Optimus, but I've always loved that one from you!)_

**Mech least likely to respond?**

_Well, since you ask, I would have to say a certain grey Seeker who goes by the nickname TC. _

_Perhaps I've missed the radiating sunny disposition of his nature and the unquestionable joy I do not get when in his presence, as he's never struck me as the "tell me about yourself" type of mech. _

**Whom do you want to reply the most?**

_I'm curious to know what Optimus and Hide have to say to all of this._

Sitting back in his chair, the medic pressed "Send".

Hearing Jazz's music blaring through, the mech wondered how long it would be before the walls finally collapsed from the intensity of the sound boucing off of them, hoping the humans had built their base with thick reinforced iron alloy elements.

**Author's End Notes:**

_**The quote Ratchet states "Knowledge is power…," is actually a quote I made up myself a few years back for this one political forum I was on. I thought it fit kind of nice here with Ratchet's personality.**_

_**Curious to know why Ratchet chased Hound down the Ark corridor? Check out my fic "The Departed: Supplemental Shorts" chapter titled "Sustenance" to read what it was.**_

_**Hint: If you don't want to read the whole chapter, the incident is described in the dialogue between Bumblebee and Bluestreak.**_

_**Stay tuned! The best two are left…Bluestreak and Thundercracker! **_


	6. spotonsmooth

**_Important: Please Read!_**

**_The following fic is a small offshoot of my current fic "Ronin" with some references being made to my first TF fic, "The Departed". _**

**_If you're confused about certain elements within this one, you might want to skim/read through them to get the full backstory._**

**spotonsmooth at post dot net**

_I can't do this! I've had enough! _

Getting up from his recharge bed, frustrated at the rest that _was not_ finding it's way to him, the young Autobot gunner sat down at his desk, tapping his finger tips lightly on the top.

The necklace he had Ironhide make Kate sat next to his laptop, a pristine reminder of everything he had gained and lost all within a short period of time. Sighing sorrowfully, the blue Autobot thought about the last time he had seen her, how she had said those three crucial words back to him…_Love ya too, Blue…_

Closing his optics, trying to settle himself down from the tense anguish starting to take its hold on him again, the Autobot sat quietly. Washed away in his beautiful memories, recalling how his recharge dreams always lead him down the same path to her waiting arms, the gunner jumped a bit as he heard a quick _beeping_ noise from his laptop.

Clicking onto his email page, the blue mech carefully read the waiting message, smiling a little, thoughts of Kate interrupted.

Happy to have something else to occupy his logic circuits, the gunner started to type.

**Does your name hold any significance in it's meaning?**

_I think so…when I was on earth last time, my alt mode was a silver Datsun…so I guess it didn't have anything to do with the color…although now, with the reconfiguration this time making me blue, I don't know…I've always had other mechs tell me how I talk a 'bluestreak', though…but I kind of don't get it because I don't see any blue lights coming out of my vocal processor…_

**Three words that best describes your self?**

_Three words? Uh…well…okay…upbeat…I try to be…sometimes it's easier than others…reliable…I'd like to think my friends can all count on me…and for the third one…um…sniper…I'm a pretty good shot!_

_Oh…I think that was more than three words…oh well…_

**If you were another mech would you be friends with you?**

_Yeah, I would…I'm pretty upbeat (oops, I think I already said that above)…and I don't mind talking…Oh! And I always try to help where I can…sometimes it's not always the best help…but I'll try… _

**When was the last time your optics flooded?**

_Last night…I got to thinking about when Kate and I were lying together in that grassy open area and she was laying on my chest and how she felt so warm and soft…hold on…I've got to go…my optics are starting to flood again…sorry…_

**Blowing things up or creating things to blow something up?**

_Blowing things up! I enjoy it…I'm pretty good at it too (well except when I blow something up and a piece of it gets embedded into my drive shaft…I…I…don't really like that…) _

**Which Decepticon do you hate more? Starscream or Blackout?**

_Screamer, no doubt…Blackout's nothing but a big Decepticon bully. Screamer's not right in the logic circuits. Big difference…although both of them are pretty slaggin' mean…_

**Favorite earth color?**

_I dunno…blue, I guess…I like them all…they're nice!_

**If you had a choice for another earth alt mode what would it be?**

_I kind of like being the Viper I am…it's really fast and sporty! I wonder if Sunny would be jealous…_

**Earth or Cybertron?**

_I don't know…before I met Kate I would've said Cybertron…but after meeting her…Primus! Hold on…be right back…my optics are starting again…_

_Okay…I'm back…_

_I kind of like earth…I don't know if I would want to stay here forever…I think I would miss everyone back home too much…but it's alright for now…_

**What are you reading right now?**

_Um…right now? The computer screen in front of me… _

**Drinking energon until your optics are seeing shooting stars or 'connecting' until your optics stay rolled to the back of your head?**

_I…I…like both…A LOT…the whole connectin' thing though…I mean, I had one bad experience, but that was okay…the other…oops…I think that's all I should say._

_I like drinking energon too…I don't like waking up the next morning in my own puddle of energon drool…that's not fun…and also too, it's not fun when everyone just steps over you and leaves you outside…_

**Do you like the mech who sent this to you?**

_Yes. Very much so. I think he's really nice. And smart too! He knows all about earth culture and everyone always takes to him right away because of how outgoing he is…I kinda wish I could be more confident like that…_

**Favorite personal saying/quote?**

_Um_..._"hi"?_

_Oh wait! I know one!_

""_I never met a Con I didn't dislike._"_ (Not you, TC…sorry…I like you!)_

**Mech least likely to respond?**

_I'm really hoping he responds, but I won't be real surprised if he doesn't…he doesn't seem like the "tell me about yourself" type of mech…but I'm thinking it's probably TC…_

_Hey, TC, if you're reading this, you should really respond…I mean I know it's not as fun as wanting to glue Starscream's optics shut and shove little ion bombs up his tail pipe, (didn't you tell me you tried doing that once when you were on the Nemesis and that he got you back by pouring a whole container of bonding agent on your hand and then you were stuck to the wall for almost an entire solar cycle? I can't remember…you've told me a lot of different stories like that…well not with you being stuck to the wall…but playing pranks) but this could be fun! _

**Whom do you want to reply the most? **

_points upward_

Finally finishing, the blue Autobot hurriedly pressed the "Send" button, and, feeling what he had been searching for come over his internal processors, the gunner crawled into his recharge bed, quickly slipping into the dreamworld that would take him to her waiting arms.

**Author's End Notes:**

**_Last but not least, Thundercracker's will be up next!!! And with all of you who know how TC is in my stories, you won't want to miss it..._**

**_:-p_**


	7. Supreme Ruler Of The Sky563

**Important: Please Read!**

_**The best one is here!!!**_

**_The following fic is a small __offshoot of my current fic "Ronin"__ with some references being made to my first TF fic, "The Departed". _**

_**If you're confused about certain elements within this one, you might want to skim/read through them to get the full backstory.**_

**Supreme Ruler of the Sky at post dot net**

_You've got to be slaggin' kidding me!!! And they wonder why all Cons wanna beat them to a dead pulp! _The grey Seeker exclaimed to him self, reading the email he just received on his laptop.

Extremely agitated at being interrupted from his intent reading of the human samurai code of honor, the Decepticon closed out of his email account and sat back in his micro chair, brooding.

_I'm not answering that! I'm not! They can send their stupid senseless emails to someone else!_

Grudgingly, the Seeker pulled the email back up, getting a quick thought, snickering to himself.

_Alright...since they all thought I wouldn't reply...two can play this little charade..._

Ignoring the added pain from being so hunched up in his chair, the grey Seeker began to type rapidly.

**Does your name hold any significance in it's meaning?**

_THUNDER. CRACKER._

_Where in those two words does your feeble attention span lose itself and shut down?_

_(And since you think you're ruttin funny, 'trigger happy'...when this Con's barreling your 50 million year old rickety self to the slaggin' ground, you'll still be stuck on trying to REMEMBER what a steel can of whoop aft even is! You reading THIS?)_

**Three words that best describes your self?**

_Right now? _

_1. Annoyed_

_2. Annoyed_

_3. Annoyed_

**If you were another mech would you be friends with you?**

_Motor mouth, did you promise big bird you'd weld your vocal processor closed if he'd slip this question in for you? As much as I'd like to be there to help do that, you'll just have to look elsewhere for cheap amusement...nice try but no energon._

**When was the last time your optics flooded?**

_How bout' I ask you this same question after I blast your extremities into the next gamma quadrant…how's that sound? _

**Blowing things up or creating things to blow something up?**

_Finally! A decent enough question! Alright…here…_

_If either method makes it so I'm witnessing Screamer exploding like a supernova throughout the sky to his fiery, brutal death with every single one of his hinges and sensors being burned to a slaggin' crisp, then both are sufficient enough_

**Which Decepticon do you hate more? Starscream or Blackout?**

_WHAT THE FARKIN' SLAGGIN' PIT???? _

_Have your logic circuits just miraculously disintegrated between the last question and this one?_

**Favorite earth color?**

_Piffle. They're all too slaggin' bright for me._

**If you had a choice for another earth alt mode what would it be?**

_Have I just been shoved onto the Autobot Stupidity Show?_

**Earth or Cybertron?**

_Apparently so…_

**What are you reading right now?**

_The farkin' computer screen you nitwit!_

**Drinking energon until your optics are seeing shooting stars or 'connecting' until your optics stay rolled to the back of your head?**

_Considering how most of the femmes on Cybertron were pretty much blown to smithereens and since I'm not, I REPEAT, AM NOT connecting with any of you, (I don't care how desperate any of you Auto slag afts are…get near me with that connector and all that'll be left of you will be some adjusting screws and an exhaust pipe for me to hang as a souvenir!) drinking energon wins by default. _

_('trigger happy'...If the only two choices left for survival were having a burning poker shoved into my optics and passing it through my wind intake or getting near you, I would be one slaggin' poker lovin', wind intake squeezin' Con! SO DON'T FLATTER YOURSELF!!!!) _

_(1 kewl bot...you actually wasted your energy saying all that? Please! All I ever had to say to a femme was "Here...now,"and they were melted mush in my hands BEGGING to feel what a Seeker was all about...1 kewl bot my grey aft...more like 1 desperate bot) _

**Do you like the mech who sent this to you?**

_This is an Autobot scare tactic isn't it? Well it's not going to work!!! You aren't getting slag out of me, big bird! (And this goes for ALL of you Auto slag heads! DO NOT think I don't know what you're up too!!!)_

**Favorite personal saying/quote?**

"_Kickin"…not geeky…not cool…just "kickin"…_

_Gotta slaggin' problem with it?_

_Oh…and I guess I could put this one down…_

"_Lemme feel ya shudder cuz I'm gettin' ready to bring out the thunder."_

**Mech least likely to respond?**

_If I get lucky…everyone (And this includes you motor mouth!!!)_

**Whom do you want to reply the most?**

_HELLO? Was it that long of a trip down from the above answer to this one to bring on a case of Autobot senility or did my promise to question #4 suddenly seem enticing to you? _

_Fine…if you REALLY want to fraggin' know…_

_I suppose if they're going to do it…maybe Prime…see what the great Optimus has to say about getting some femme aft…_

Pressing "Send", the Seeker smirked to himself, going back to reading about the dutiful honor he wondered if he himself could ever possess.

**Author's End Notes:**

**_Well here it is! I hope all of you had a good time and enjoyed this. I found writing TC's responses to the most difficult as he has quite the "distinct" type of personality!_**

**_See everyone over at the "Ronin" fic!_**

**_Thanks for all your reviews!_**

**_K.D.B._**


	8. Reactions

**_JessyJazz - Thanks for the help! You know how it is...:-p_**

**_This is a little long...I kind of had to make it that way since there were so many different answers to touch on...Enjoy!_**

**_If anyone wants to continue this for the Decepticons or for the other Autobots, just put a reference to this as the original and then have fun! It's a great concept because it highlights every character's indivuality._**

**Reactions**

"_Don't touch me, motor mouth! I can make it just fine! That last one was a freebie! I'm not a farkin' invalid!_"

For the last nanocycle or so, everyone had been sitting in the spacious rec room at the former Harrison Airforce Base, energon mugs full, recapping the replies of one very infamous email that had made its way around to the entire Autobot crew and one extremely ill tempered Decepticon Seeker.

"And whose bright idea was it to invite him in here again?" The medic sighed, hearing the all too familiar testy tone pour out from somewhere farther on down the corridor.

"He'd better _watch_ himself, Bee, that's all I have to say. _Pain or no pain_," Ironhide said gravely.

"C'mon guys! He _did _reply after all…even though everyone thought he wouldn't. It's only fair we invite him," Bumblebee said brightly.

"To which my solar cycle wouldn't have come to an abrupt halt if he didn't," Ironhide replied gruffly.

"Yes, Bee, he _did_ reply…but did you even read it? That Con's so aggressive he could pick a fight with himself just to say he did something fun for the day," Ratchet replied.

"_If_ we could even get that lucky…," Ironhide snorted.

"Bee's right," Jazz agreed. "Beside's TC's been sittin' in his quarters every night…let's cut him a little slack…it'll be good for him to sit among _friends_."

"Speak for yourself, Jazz," Ironhide smirked at the silver Autobot.

"Judging from the severe way he replied to that email, I would have to offer that TC doesn't _exactly_ see us in the same light," Ratchet replied.

"He does with Blue," Bumblebee added.

Shaking his head at the scout's statement, Ironhide sighed. "Sometimes I think that kid just isn't wired tight all the way around."

Jazz waved a casual hand at him. "Aw, let him be, Hide'…Blue's probably the only one out of all of us TC's even remotely kewl with…ain't nuthin' wrong with that."

Bumblebee nodded. "I think you're right, Jazz. Blue told me TC _actually_ accepted help from him not too long ago. I guess Blue helped him down the corridor. Sounds to me like TC's kinda coming around."

"TC _does _seem to be more receptive to Blue, I will agree on that," Ratchet nodded.

"That's cuz he _knows _better not to be," Jazz added simply, catching sight of the pain filled grey Seeker slowly making his way through the rec room entrance finally.

"Hey, _Supreme Ruler of The Sky_! Movin' a little slow today?" Bumblebee chuckled.

"No, _yellow slag aft_, I'm walking this way because my secret goal has always been to know how many steps I can take in a nanoclik….yes I'm moving slow today!" Thundercracker hissed back as he cautiously walked over to an open chair sitting across from Jazz.

"And what unpretentious sunshine you bring this evening," Ratchet commented as snickers arose from the table.

Thundercracker scowled a nasty sneer at the medic, too busy with looking at the chair in front of him to shoot off a jab in return. Knowing the shooting pain that would emerge from his body being scrunched into a sitting position, Thundercracker hesitated.

"Have a seat TC!" Jazz offered cheerfully.

"In a nanoclick!" Thundercracker spat back.

"I…I…can…help…if you want," Bluestreak offered meekly reading the Seeker's obvious trepidation at the action he was about to take.

Feeling heavy anticipating stares on him from Jazz and Bumblebee's careful unsaid warnings, Thundercracker sighed and nodded a tense silent approval to Bluestreak more or less for his own safety than anything else.

Happy to oblige, Bluestreak came up to the Seeker's side and helped him settle into the chair, hearing a slight painful gasp emit from the Decepticon.

"Energon?" Jazz offered.

"Yeah…alright," Thundercracker nodded, watching the silver Autobot pour some of the high grade into a container.

Taking a long swig of the brown liquid that went down smooth and quick, relishing the warming sensation it sent through him, Thundercracker sat back, a smug interested expression on him.

>> > > > > > > > > > > > > > 

"So…what happened next?" Bluestreak asked intently.

Jazz sighed longingly. "Ah…ya know…I left…I was dumb…young and dumb…,"

"Wow, Jazz, I never knew a femme who got to you that much," Bumblebee commented. "I thought you were a 'one cycle stand' kind of mech," The yellow scout said with a casual wink.

"I ain't denyin' it, Bee. I've been 'round. That's how I roll…ya'll know that…ain't nuthin' wrong with a lil' variety…life would be boring otherwise…but man, oh man…she was a keeper…a real keeper…,"

Ironhide gave off a smart aft smirk as he leaned back in his chair, arms folded across his black armor.

"A keeper, huh?" The weapons specialist repeated. "If she was such a keeper, then how come you couldn't slaggin' remember her name? Seems to me like you only remembered what she could _do_ to you."

"Man, Hide' that was a million ions ago! You know me, I ain't ever been good with names anyway…and her…I guess I kinda just pushed it out of my CPU but right after I sent that email out, I remembered it."

"So, what was her name?" Bluestreak inquired.

"Jada."

"Jada?" Ratchet repeated, his one optic raised. "Was that the one who could produce those green colored force fields? I seem to vaguely remember her. Primus! That _was_ forever a millennium ago!"

Jazz nodded. "Sho' was...Primus she could throw down!"

"How'd you meet her?" Bluestreak asked, taking a quick sip of his energon mug.

"At one of the energon drinking holes in Iacon. I saw her and she saw me…we jus' hit it off…we hung out all the time…we jus' clicked…we talked about everything…I ain't never met a femme I was _that _in tune with…she could finish my sentences for me…and then one night she asked if I wanted to get right with her…hell, I couldn't say no."

Sighing again at the trip down memory lane, Jazz finished, "But when the war started…I had other priorities…I never told her how I felt, nuthin'…I jus' let it go. I shouldn't have…but I did. Like I said, young and dumb."

"Well she _must've_ been something else for you to _still_ remember her…even though you couldn't recall her name," Ratchet concluded, giving off a slight grin.

Taking a long drink from his mug, Jazz put it down and then looked across the way at Thundercracker who had remained silent.

"But enough bout' me," the silver Autobot said. "TC, I didn't know you had such a poetic way when it came to femmes. Was it the 'here' that made em' beg or the 'now'? It's such a moving, insightful line. Cuz if I was a femme, I know that's what I'd want to hear," Jazz laughed.

"What? Peeved cuz you aren't the only _kewl bot? _Unlike you, I _never_ had to work for it," Thundercracker replied. "I had them _all_ wantin' to 'get right' with me."

"Oh believe me, TC….I _never_ worked for it, bro," Jazz said.

"Hey, you know what they say, right TC?" Bumblebee piped up.

"Please make my whole solar cycle and tell me. I won't be able to function normally until you do," Thundercracker replied, sarcasm dripping heavy.

"Quick words equal quicker connectin," Bumblebee finished.

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" Thundercracker spat out.

Bluestreak spoke up then. "I think Bee means that you're a 3 astroclik kind of mech…you know…that…,"

"How the fark would you even _know_ what a 3 atroclik mech was? You couldn't even make it to 1 astroclik! _Spot_ _on Oily Digits!_" Thundercracker shot back.

"I…I…did get the connector out…"

"And what a wonderful discovery it is to know you have the amazing ability to locate something that's connected directly on you. Why any femme would avoid getting with that, I will never know," Thundercracker replied, rolling his optics.

"It's alright, Blue…we've all had our fair share of bad experiences," Jazz reassured the flustered gunner.

Bumblebee nodded. "Yeah, Blue…it can't always go well…right Hide?" The scout said, grinning mischievously at the black mech.

"Bee, I'm _warnin'_ you…," The weapons specialist threatened, his tone severe.

"What?" Bumblebee said innocently. "I was just going to say all of us here know what Jazz means…_some more than others_…,"

"That alt mode you so enjoy? It'll all be a distant, mournful memory if you don't shut it! I've already gave in once and played your little email game. Don't press your luck at havin' me humor you again!" Ironhide growled out.

"C'mon, Hide! Chill man! We all forgot about that incident until _you_ brought it up," Jazz said.

"And now all of you can just go ahead and bury it in your CPU's again," Ironhide snapped back.

"If memory serves me right and if the story's correct, didn't she steal half of your arsenal…_after_ she stripped your front armor off?" Bumblebee quipped up, not even fazed by the weapon specialist's threats.

Thundercracker smirked, amused at what he was hearing.

"That's what you get for exchanging credits for a piece of femme aft," The grey Seeker snickered.

"Do you hear me laughing, Seeker?" Ironhide growled out. "Don't think just because you can barely walk I won't hesitate to make it so you can't speak either!"

"Is that _before _or _after_ you remember where you put that steel can of whoop aft? Or do you want me to find it for you?" Thundercracker replied.

Ironhide stood up from his chair, bringing his one arm cannon around, pointing it square at the Seeker, the low _whooshing_ vibration coming off it.

"_I've got all the whoop aft I need right here."_

"You really ought to sit your big, bad, black aft down before you give your spark a lightening attack…that kind of unfortunate event happens when a mech reaches antiquity and _we wouldn't want that_," Thundercracker smirked back calmly, the pain running through him having slightly let up from the joy in seeing the weapon specialist get so fired up.

"For the love of Primus! Can't you two _pretend_ to get along for half a nanoclick?! You two are worse than babysitting those slag headed twins!" Ratchet burst out.

Pointing at the chair, Ratchet said firmly, "Hide, just have a seat and let it roll off you."

Pointing at Thundercracker next, the medic glared at him. "TC, either you can sit here and _try_ to be a part of the conversation or you can leave because if I have to get up from this table, I'm going to open _my_ own can of whoop aft on _both _your exteriors!"

Bumblebee nudged Jazz in the side suddenly. "Ratchet's about to pull a Hound. Think they'll get far enough down the corridor before he breaks out that hacksaw?"

Jazz laughed then. "Hide might…TC doesn't stand a fightin' chance, though."

Suddenly then, heavy footsteps could be heard coming from the corridor. Seeing Optimus appear in the entranceway finally, everyone looked at the Autobot leader with surprise, including Thundercracker.

"Come to join us for a little R&R, Optimus? We were just discussing the little email Bee sent out…Hide and TC just got done conversing about the wonders of femme charms," Ratchet asked, shooting a "behave yourself" glance at the two warring mechs.

"I see," Optimus said. "I seem to remember Thundercracker being curious about my getting some 'femme aft'…have I reached this conclusion in error, TC?" The Autobot leader asked, turning to the healing mech.

Thundercracker stirred somewhat in his chair uncomfortably.

"Yeah, Prime…I think I wrote something like that…can't really remember though…it was late…," The Seeker replied uneasily.

"To answer your question, my experiences were all extremely satisfying. Thank you for asking. I can only imagine it probably doesn't compare to the experiences you've had with the eloquent and refined way you wrote about how to approach a femme," Optimus replied lightly, smiling.

The entire Autobot crew roared with uncontrollable guffaws from hearing the normally serious Autobot commander give off such a subtle sarcastic remark. Lightening up some from the comment, Thundercracker's lip components spread into a halfway grin.

"Here's what I want to know," Ironhide spoke up then. "When have any of us left you outside when you were overcharged, Blue?"

"That time when Sunny made his homemade brew right before we left for earth for the first time…I couldn't get up…so I just laid there…and when I woke up, I was still outside and then Hound finally came and got me," Bluestreak said.

Optimus shot an interested glance at his comrades. "Is this true?"

Jazz shrugged casually. "Can't say Optimus…I don't remember a thing from that night…sorry Blue Boy…ya know we didn't do it on purpose!"

"Sunny's concoctions always did knock a Bot on their afts!" Bumblebee agreed.

"Alright, Bee…since you're the one who started _all _this…a speed boat? You want to be a water craft?" Ratchet asked the scout in disbelief.

"Sure! Why not? I could glide all around the earth with no prob! Since 70 percent of this planet is covered in water, I think it would be a good trade!"

Thundercracker snorted disdainfully. "Piffle. The sky is _still_ better. You aren't trapped."

Jazz nodded in agreement. "You do have a point there, TC."

Shooting meaningful glances toward Ironhide and Ratchet who were seated across from him and then over to Optimus who was still standing next to Ratchet, Jazz commented lightly, "Ya'll were that broken up over me being taken offline, huh? Man, I feel so loved! Is it jus' me or is it time for a group hug?"

"Okay!" Bluestreak said excitedly.

Pointing at the mechs sitting around him, Thundercracker sneered, "Get near me and I….,"

"Yeah, yeah, TC, we know," Bumblebee said breezily, waving a hand at the Seeker. "Adjusting screws and an exhaust pipe…yada, yada…,"

Ironhide rolled his optics, letting out a stiff sigh. "Here we go…I was wonderin' when you'd bring this up, Jazz…yes, we felt that way…wha'd ya expect? We ain't fraggin' Decepticons!"

Narrowing his optics on the weapon specialist, Thundercracker sneered, "_I resemble that remark!_"

Grudgingly, Ironhide managed to spat out, "Oh fine! If you're gonna pitch a slaggin' fit about it…present company excluded."

Taking a swig of his mug, Thundercracker mumbled back, "Yeah…whatever...I'm still _NOT _getting near you."

"Then I guess you'll just be a slaggin' poker lovin, wind intake squeezin' Con, huh TC?" Bumblebee piped up cheerfully, cutting off any kind of smart remark Ironhide's logic circuits were contemplating, trying to keep peace between the two mechs.

"Well one thing's for sure about all of us…Screamer definitely won the pick as the most hated," Jazz said.

"Big surprise there," Ironhide huffed.

"Yes, I did notice that was a consistent answer among everyone as well," Optimus commented. "That and TC not answering," The Autobot leader smiled.

Thundercracker shrugged his aching shoulder joints off handedly. "I was bored…you do stupid aft things when you're bored out of your frickin' logic circuits…it's not like I did it to bring any of you amusement."

"Oh but you did, TC!" Bumblebee chuckled.

"Okay, I think I speak for everyone, TC when I ask…being glued to the wall for a solar cycle…what the slag was that?" Jazz asked.

Shooting a heated glance at Bluestreak, Thundercracker spat out, "Do you and _yellow I have no aft_ have some kind of secret gossip cult going on?

Bluestreak giggled at the Seeker. "No…I just wrote what you told me…I'm…I'm…sorry. I just thought it was kinda funny…that's all…I couldn't see you glued to the wall…I didn't think you would be bothered by it because you're always talking about how you played all those pranks on Screamer and…,"

"Alright, alright!" Thundercracker exclaimed interrupting the gunner's nervous rambling as his optics spanned the Autobot group in amazement.

"_Does it ever stop_? Please tell me there's an end!" Thundercracker begged.

Ratchet chuckled a bit. "It's one of the perks of coming over to the 'light side'."

"_This _is the 'light side'? Primus, I'm farked," Thundercracker muttered.

"So c'mon TC! Tell us! The glue…you being stuck," Bumblebee rushed impatiently, his circuits twitching with anticipation of being told something so juicy.

Grinning somewhat, Thundercracker began, "Screamer accidently left the door to his quarters partly open one night…I don't know how or why…but he did…he was usually so paranoid about Warp and I coming in there to pull a fast one on him, he changed access codes regularly to make sure we wouldn't find them out."

"Screamer paranoid? I _could_ never imagine why that would be," Bumblebee said. "He's such a lovable type of mech…you just wanna hug and squeeze him."

"Or cut his fluid intake hose, right Jazz?" Ratchet added.

"Fo' sure! Ain't no two ways bout' that one!" Jazz laughed.

"Screw cuttin' his fluid intake…that whiney aft vocal processor of his would be the first to go! How much more joyous it would be dismantling him without hearin' _that _slag in your auditory circuits!" Ironhide declared.

"Hey it might've been the Autobot Stupidity Show before but right now the channel's on the Thundercracker show! Want to hear the farkin' story or not?" Thundercracker spat out, irritated.

"Sorry, TC…," Bumblebee said.

"We're listenin', TC…Screamer…paranoid…Warp and you always wantin' to put the hurtin' on him…," Jazz said.

Thundercracker let out another snort. "Yeah…well anyway, before I was _rudely _interrupted…so Warp and I snuck into his quarters that night with these handmade toys that hold water…the fleshies call them super soakers…so we get in there and see Screamer in a deep recharge…Warp and I, we let it loose. I mean, we _drown_ his worthless aft! Screamer shoots up, shrieking like a femme, this crazy freaked out expression on him like he thought the base was being attacked…Primus it was hilarious…and then he starts yelling about how he's gonna shove his foot so far up our afts that we'll forever be pulling shards of metal out.

But you all know Screamer…he's lucky to have his own internal sensors listen to him so Warp and I just laughed at his so called 'threats'…after hearing every solar cycle how he was going to take over as leader, it tends to get a little farkin' old, so no one ever really took him seriously whenever he said anything else….and then I forgot about the whole thing…until about three earth weeks later…Screamer comes up to me in the main corridor and he's being really nice…if you haven't already picked up on it, Screamer being _nice_ is like saying Megatron wanted to be an Autobot…the two don't mix…so I'm standing there knowing something's firing inside his logic circuits…and he says to me, "_Oh here, TC…I almost forgot…forgive me…,_" and before I know it, he whips out this open container of this yellowish liquid, throws it onto me, and shoves me into the wall…I thought it was just lubricating grease because that's what it smelled like but as I was going to take his aft down, I couldn't move! So he says to me, _"Payback's a riot, huh TC?" _and then started on down the corridor laughing his ugly head off."

Laughter arose all around as thoughts of the grey Decepticon stuck to a wall painted an entertaining sight, being enough to emit a chuckle from Optimus as well.

"That bonding agent is impenetrable. How in the pit did you manage to get unstuck with your limbs still attached to your body?" Ratchet asked.

"That's why I was stuck there all solar cycle. Soundwave and Hook had to create this special solvent that would dissolve the bonding agent's chemical makeup but still remain mild enough so it didn't melt my entire arm off."

"And how successful were they in creating that balance?" Optimus spoke up.

"Let's just say I was missing color here and there for a long time," Thundercracker replied.

"Wha'd Megs say about it all?" Bumblebee asked suddenly.

"He came down the corridor a little after Screamer left and said to me, 'I see Starscream has put you into a slightly sticky predicament, Thundercracker. How simply amusing. Please know I will not accept any type of pathetic excuse for getting out of duty patrol, so you'd better be unstuck from that wall by sunrise, is this in any way unclear?'"

"Yep, that's good ole Megs alright!" Jazz laughed.

"Now isn't everyone glad I sent that email out? We all learned something new about each other!" Bumblebee said.

"Yeah…alright kid…we learned TC's a real femme charmer, Blue wishes he were a femme charmer, Jazz had been charmed by a femme, and you wanna charm yourself by gliding around the earth as a speedboat…wonderful…my goal for signing on for this mission has now been met," Ironhide smirked.

"It was an interesting experiment, Bumblebee. I will say that," Optimus said.

"How bout' we send the email to Screamer, whaddya think Optimus?" Jazz winked at the Autobot commander.

"I do not feel that Starscream would find it as amusing as we did, Jazz," Optimus replied.

"That's because he's not cool like TC!" Bluestreak said cheerfully.

"You think, I'm _cool_ motor mouth?" Thundercracker asked slowly.

"Yeah, I do! Or do you like 'kickin' better? I know you like that word…but you did reply to the email…even though some parts were a little not nice…well actually a lot of parts were not nice…but that's okay…we all know how you are…,"

"Besides, TC…you liked causing Screamer grief…that in itself is cool!" Bumblebee said.

"Uh…thanks…I guess," Thundercracker said unevenly.

Jazz grabbed his mug, holding it in the air. "Let's do a toast! To everyone agreeing that Screamer is a royal pain in our afts!"

Everyone raised their mugs up except Thundercracker.

"TC?" Jazz asked.

"If anyone here hasn't figured out how much I hate Screamer, then they need a new CPU installed," The grey Seeker replied sullenly.

"C'mon, just do it, TC!" Bumblebee said smiling.

"Yeah TC!" Bluestreak added.

_Why the slag not?_ Thundercracker sighed to himself as he picked up his mug and put it in the air, toasting with mechs that were once his sworn enemy, secretly glad he had replied to that senseless email after all.


End file.
